IFS-terapi (Internal Family Systems) er en evidensbaseret psykoterapi, der hjælper mennesker med at hele de sår, vi bærer med os fra tidlig barndom. Vi har alle vores mønstre og strategier, som vi bruger, når vi er pressede eller i krise. Disse strategier udviklede vi i den familie, vi voksede op i, hvor vi lærte at navigere for at føle os trygge, elskede og anerkendte. Hvis vi f.eks. er vokset op i en familie, hvor en forælder var fraværende, udskammende, psykisk syg, alkoholiker eller kronisk syg, udviklede vi som børn metoder til at beskytte os mod udskamning, skældud eller følelsen af at være alene og ked af det. Disse dele af os kalder vi "beskyttere", og de passer på de yngre dele af os (fra barndommen), som blev sårede eller traumatiserede.

Vi har alle forskellige beskytterdele. Det kan f.eks. være en "indpisker", der sender dig på arbejde eller i skole, eller som skubber dig i gang med at dyrke sport. Det kan også være en perfektionistisk eller selvkritisk stemme, der måske siger, at du ikke gør det godt nok, eller at du burde være bedre, eller en pleaser-stemme, der prøver at undgå konflikter.

Disse beskyttere forsøger at skærme dig mod at blive afvist eller føle dig ensom eller forkert. De stræber efter anerkendelse, da det føles behageligt i modsætning til kritik. Disse strategier blev etableret i barndommen og fungerede dengang som beskyttelse mod uønsket opmærksomhed fra dine forældre. Men i dag stresser disse stemmer dig (f.eks. i form af tankemylder), giver dig søvnløse nætter og får dig til at føle, at du ikke er god nok. Grunden til, at disse dele bliver højlydte, er, at de mærker uro eller noget utrygt. De spørger sig selv: "Hvordan kan jeg undgå at mærke den smerte, jeg engang følte som barn, da jeg blev forladt, afvist, skældt ud, slået eller følte ensomhed og håbløshed?"

Når du oplever ubehagelige følelser, har du sikkert udviklet strategier til at undgå at mærke dem. Det kan være ved at streame, overspise, spille computerspil, bruge sociale medier, drikke alkohol, ryge hash, tage piller, overarbejde, overtræne eller have sex. I IFS-sprog kalder vi disse dele for "brandslukkere" – eller "firefighters".

Brandslukkerne forsøger at beskytte dig mod at mærke den smerte og det ubehag, du oplevede i barndommen. Når du bliver trigget i et gammelt sår, træder brandslukkerne til for at lukke ned for smerten.

Den sårede del af dig, ofte kaldet "det indre barn", omtales i IFS-sprog som "exile". Det er vigtigt, at det indre barn bliver set og mødt, så du med tiden kan drage omsorg for det fra din voksne, modne selv.

Siden 2019 har jeg arbejdet med mennesker og brugt denne metode. Mange har givet udtryk for, at det har hjulpet dem til at føle sig mere hele og i balance, også selv når livet byder på kriser. Jeg har gennemført alle tre niveauer i IFS og kombinerer det med Somatic Experiencing-traumeterapi, der arbejder på at skabe balance i nervesystemet, da traumer lagres i både nervesystemet og kroppen.

English

IFS Therapy (Internal Family Systems)

IFS therapy (Internal Family Systems) is an evidence-based psychotherapy that helps people heal the wounds we carry from early childhood. We all have our own patterns and strategies that we use when we are under pressure or in crisis. These strategies were developed in the family we grew up in, where we learned to navigate in order to feel safe, loved, and acknowledged. For instance, if we grew up in a family where a parent was absent, shaming, mentally ill, an alcoholic, or chronically ill, we developed methods as children to protect ourselves from shame, scolding, or feeling alone and sad. These parts of us are referred to as "protectors," and they take care of the younger parts of us (from childhood) that were hurt or traumatized.

We all have different protector parts. For example, there might be a "drill sergeant" that pushes you to go to work or school or encourages you to exercise. There could also be a perfectionistic or self-critical voice telling you that you’re not doing well enough or that you should be better, or a people-pleasing voice that tries to avoid conflicts.

These protectors try to shield you from being rejected or feeling lonely or wrong. They seek acknowledgment because it feels pleasant compared to criticism. These strategies were established in childhood and, at that time, served to protect you from unwanted attention from your parents. However, today, these voices can stress you (e.g., through overthinking), cause sleepless nights, and make you feel like you’re not good enough. The reason these parts become loud is that they sense anxiety or something unsafe. They ask themselves, "How can I avoid feeling the pain I once felt as a child when I was abandoned, rejected, scolded, hit, or when I experienced loneliness and hopelessness?"

When you experience uncomfortable feelings, you’ve likely developed strategies to avoid feeling them. These strategies might include streaming, overeating, gaming, social media, alcohol, drugs, pills, overworking, over-exercising, or sex. In IFS terminology, these parts are called "firefighters."

Firefighters attempt to protect you from experiencing the pain and discomfort you felt in childhood. When you are triggered in an old wound, firefighters spring into action to shut down the pain.

The wounded part of you, often called "the inner child," is referred to in IFS terminology as an "exile." It is important for the inner child to be seen and acknowledged so that, over time, you can care for that wounded child from your adult, mature self.

Since 2019, I have worked with people using this method. Many have reported that it has helped them feel more whole and balanced, even when life brings crises. I have completed all three levels of IFS training and combine it with Somatic Experiencing trauma therapy, which works to create balance in the nervous system, as trauma is stored in both the nervous system and the body.